


The Adventures of Jedi turned Space Pirates

by orphan_account



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: F/F, F/M, Great-great-great-grandpa Yoda, M/M, Sad Obi-Wan Kenobi, Space Pirate Obi-Wan, Uncle Hondo, Uncle Obi-Wan Kenobi, Yoda wears an eye-patch, pirate daycare
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-15
Updated: 2020-06-24
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:02:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,419
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24191782
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Obi-Wan takes Luke and Leia with him instead of giving them to anyone. But, he realizes that he needs a way to make money to feed them, so he’s walking around a cantina on some shady planet with a baby in each arm looking for work and he ends up running into Hando. And Hondo sees the kids and starts making jokes about using protection while Obi-Wan is too tired for this and it’s written all over his face. After a while, Hondo notices how tired and thin Obi looks and asks if he is ok which Obi then goes on a rant about how he has no money and can't find a job and how he needs to feed the kids but he has nothing. And Hondo claps him on the shoulder and proceeds to give him a job. And that's how Obi-Wan, Luke, and Leia ended up becoming the most feared and loved space pirates in the galaxy.
Relationships: Boba Fett/Luke Skywalker, CC-2224 | Cody & CT-7567 | Rex, CC-2224 | Cody & Obi-Wan Kenobi, CC-2224 | Cody/Obi-Wan Kenobi, CT-7567 | Rex & Luke Skywalker, Hondo Ohnaka & Leia Organa, Hondo Ohnaka & Luke Skywalker, Leia Organa & Luke Skywalker, Leia Organa & Yoda, Leia Organa/Han Solo, Luke Skywalker & Yoda, Obi-Wan Kenobi & CT-7567 | Rex, Obi-Wan Kenobi & Hondo Ohnaka, Obi-Wan Kenobi & Luke Skywalker, Obi-Wan Kenobi & Yoda
Comments: 10
Kudos: 291





	1. Chapter 1

Obi-Wan did not know what possessed him to take the twins with him instead of giving Leia to the Organas and Luke to the Lars family, as the plan Yoda and him had originally come up with. But he did know he was starting to regret it, due to the lack of sleep caused by the twins crying every night. He also knew he ran out of credits paying for baby formula and diapers for the twins, and he hadn’t eaten anything in three rotations. 

Force, he needed a drink. And a job. Maybe a job, then a drink. Yeah, that made the most sense to his sleep-deprived mind and starved body. But the Force damned, it seemed as if the whole planet had no job openings. There were no jobs at the cantinas, restaurants, or anywhere, it was really pissing him off. He just needed some credits or food. Having both would also be a nice idea.

Obi-Wan continued to walk down the street looking for anywhere that would allow a man with two babies that looked as if he was about to die. To his surprise, it wasn’t that he looked like he was going to die that kept getting him kicked out of places, it was that he had the twins with him. It made no sense that children would be the reason for his treatment while they allowed smugglers, fugitives, and murderers into these places.

Obi-Wan decided he had done enough looking with his eyes, it was time to use the Force to find somewhere kid-friendly. It led him to the dirtiest, filth infested, cantina he had ever seen on  _ any _ side of the galaxy. As he stood in front of the cantina contemplating whether or not to enter, two Twi’leks and a human came stumbling out and proceeded to throw up in the middle of the street. 

Oh, the Force is a cruel mistress leading him to this uncivilized cantina, but he was taught to listen to the Force. So he checked to make sure the twins were properly tucked beneath his outer robe and walked into the cantina.

It was even worse on the inside. Loud music and laughter filled the air, drunks laid sprawled out across the soiled tile floor, people stumbled over them trying to get to the bar. Sighing, he walked across the dingy tile floor towards the bar, stepping over drunks.

Before he could reach the bar, a familiar Sriluurian accent called out from behind him, “Kenobi!”

“Kriff,” he softly muttered as he turned around.

Standing in front of him was the pirate captain, Hondo Ohnaka, smiling as if he didn’t have a care in the galaxy.

“How have ya been Kenobi? Heard the Jedi are traitors to the empire. I knew you were better than that stuck up act you put on! Traitors, all of you. You make me so proud,” Hondo exclaimed.

“Hello, Hondo. I am doing fine, but I have some business to attend to, so if you would excuse me.”

“Nonsense. You can spare some time for an old friend. I doubt this business is more important than me,” he said, clapping Obi-Wan on the shoulder, dragging him towards a booth full of his crew.

In all honesty, Obi-Wan was not in the mood to have someone ridicule him. But he couldn’t stop Hondo from doing what he wanted, so he would endure it for a few minutes before excusing himself from the pirate’s company.

Sitting down in the booth, he had to readjust his outer robe, so the twins were showing. Thus allowing Hondo to see them, his grin growing wider at the new information presented to him.

“Why Kenobi, didn’t anyone tell you about protection in that temple?” Hondo laughed, “Obviously you needed it. You got twins!”

“Yes, Hondo they taught us about protection in the temple,” Obi-Wan sighed as he grabbed the bridge of his nose.

“They must have been really bad at it if you got twins!”

“I guess we were not as thorough as we had wished to be.”

“No, you weren’t! Now tell me who was the lucky lady, Kenobi?”

“That is none of your concern Hondo.”

“Ah, fine don’t tell Hondo. It’s not like you’re a single man trying to raise children or anything.”

“Don’t remind me,” Obi-Wan groaned, rubbing his face.

Hondo looked Obi-Wan over again, noticing that he looked like death. Obi-Wan did not resemble the humble Jedi Hondo knew during the war. The war took that honorable man and replaced him with the sad, hurting man that sat before him. It was a depressing thought to Hondo. He wanted to see that fire in Kenobi’s eye that he used to have. See that charming smile and hear those sarcastic remarks he always had on hand.

It was time for a serious conversation with this man. Hondo hated having serious conversations. Hondo shooed his men away from the booth and waited until they were out of earshot to confront Obi-Wan.

“You know, Kenobi, you look like bantha poodoo, what is wrong? You can tell Hondo,” Hondo urged.

Obi-Wan’s will power crumbled at those words. All the emotions he had been suppressing came bubbling to the surface, and he couldn’t push them down any longer. His head fell to his chest as a small sob passed his lips.

“They’re all gone, even the younglings. Their men shot them down with no hesitation. We trusted them and they betrayed us!” Obi-Wan sobbed, “The Sith Lord turned one of our own. He slaughtered the younglings, Hondo! Children, Hondo. Children no older than twelve slaughtered because they were Jedi!”

Hondo was not prepared for Obi-Wan to break down as he did, but he sat there, offering the Jedi as much support as he could as he talked.

“I was going to give the twins to different families, but I couldn’t split them up or leave them with people who couldn’t protect them. And now we’re stranded on this Force forsaken planet because we ran out of fuel and credits,” he ran his hand through his copper locks as he exhaled, “How could everything go so wrong, Hondo?”

“I don’t know what to tell you Kenobi. What happened to the Jedi was terrible and wrong, but you lived. And I do not believe they would want you to wallow in self-pity,” Hondo consoled.

“You’re right, I shouldn’t be wallowing, it’s not the Jedi way.”

“Good. Now that we’ve settled that, how about you join my crew? We can keep the children moderately safe and you’ll have a place to stay. What do you say, Kenobi?”

Hondo extended his open hand to the tired Jedi, waiting for him to take it and join him and his men.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for taking so long to update. I hope this makes up for it.

Obi-Wan gazed at the hand presented to him, wondering if this was real or not. Did Hondo really want him to join a pirate crew? The shocking part was that he was considering joining. The offer was the nicest option so far. It would allow him to stay with the younglings at all times, and he knew Hondo and his crew would not try to hurt them, unlike the people on this planet that he didn’t know.

Straightening his shoulders, he shook the offered hand, “I’ll join you, Hondo. Hopefully, this isn’t a mistake.”

“Oh, trust me, Kenobi, this is the best option for you and those little ones. Besides, this is very profitable for all of us. With your light sword and magical Force stuff, we’ll be the best pirates in the galaxy!” cheered Hondo, while sloshing his drink all over the table.

Too tired to correct Hondo, Obi-Wan rolled his eyes, “Don’t make me change my mind, Hondo.”

“Ah, but Kenobi, you already shook on it, and a Jedi doesn’t go back on their word,” Hondo jested.

“Just get me a Corilian brandy, Hondo.”

Two weeks had passed since Obi-Wan and the twins had joined Hondo and his crew. Obi-Wan was very grateful to them for taking in him and the twins, but Force were they stupid at times. Honestly, they had no adult behavior beyond drinking, gambling, and sex. The rest of the time they acted just like younglings. No, no that’s offensive to the younglings, younglings were able to be quiet at times.

Within the time they had joined Hondo, they had robbed four cantinas, sold hundreds of blasters to bounty hunters, and somehow Obi-Wan ended up playing sabacc at a professional level against ruffians. It was a good thing Obi-Wan played sabacc against Master Plo Koon and Master Yoda when he was a youngling. And every time trouble happened Obi-Wan would end up in the middle of it. 

Their behavior was unacceptable, they were pirates, but they should’ve had some decency to not get him in trouble all the time. The worst thing was that they had their own younglings. Obi-Wan didn’t remember Hondo’s crew ever having younglings before. And they just let them run around all over the ships. Obi-Wan had seen four of them running around with blasters without adult supervision and another two near the spice trying to open one of the boxes. He was not comfortable watching them do any of that and that is why he was currently talking to Hondo.

“Hondo, there are twelve younglings on each of the three ships you have and all of them are running around without adult supervision, it’s unacceptable. Someone should be watching them!” Obi-Wan complained.

“Kenobi, they are fine. I ran around unsupervised as a child and I’m fine. Besides, no one can watch them, everyone has their own job to do on the ships. Unless you want to watch them,” Hondo laughed.

Obi-Wan tiredly rubbed his face, annoyed at the Weequay for not taking this seriously, “Hondo, this is a serious matter. These younglings need an adult to tell them right from wrong. Wait, did you say  _ I _ could watch them?”

“Yes…”

“That’s not a bad idea,” Obi-Wan mumbled stroking his beard thoughtfully.

“Kenobi, you’re not actually thinking of doing this are you?”

“Well the rest of you aren’t going to do anything about them so I should take charge.”

“Where are you going to watch them? In a cargo bay?”

“That’s not a bad idea Hondo. Not a bad idea,” Obi-Wan mumbled, “Thank you for the idea Hondo. I need to start cleaning out one of the cargo bays.”

“Wha… Kenobi?” Hondo sounded so confused as he watched Obi-Wan walk out of the room heading to one of the cargo bays.

Obi-Wan had placed Luke and Leia in a baby hammock he had hung earlier in the cargo bay. He looked around the cargo bay, surveying all the boxes and crates he would have to move to make it child friendly. Luckily he picked one of the less crowded cargo holds to start a créche for pirate younglings. How did Obi-Wan’s life go from saving the galaxy to starting a créche, he did not know, but he was going to do his best.

Obi-Wan decided he would start cleaning up by moving all the boxes to one side of the bay. Closing his eyes Obi-Wan connected to the Force allowing it to guide him to move the boxes to one side. 

About half an hour in, some of the younglings started to wander into the cargo bay to watch the Jedi use the Force and play with the twins. Obi-Wan didn’t mind them watching him and playing with the twins until four of them started to climb on the boxes while he was moving them.

Obi-Wan hadn’t noticed the younglings had started climbing on them when one jumped onto the box he was moving. The shift in weight caused Obi-Wan to momentarily buckle and the box to start falling. He quickly caught the box and set it down next to the rest of the boxes. Once they were set down he rushed over to the youngling.

Kneeling down, Obi-Wan quickly checked over the little Weequay girl to make sure she wasn’t harmed, “Are you okay little one?”

The little girl shook her head staring up at him with wide eyes, “I’m fine mister, really. Ya caught the box.”

“You shouldn’t have been on the box in the first place. Do you know how dangerous that was? What if I hadn’t caught the box in time? You could have been badly hurt,” he calmly scolded the girl.

“Why do  _ ya’ _ care? Everyone else woulda’ let me do it.”

“I  _ care _ because you are a  _ youngling _ . And the others should not let you or any others go around jumping on floating boxes and almost getting yourselves hurt,” He stood up, dusted off his trousers, and helped the youngling to her feet, “What is your name little one?”

“I’m Tex Ey, the most cunning pirate on this ship! And I know who you’re mister, you’re the Jedi Hondo’s friends with, Obi-Wan Kenobi.”

Obi-Wan smiled at her as she stretched out the ‘Kenobi’ like Hondo always does in greeting.

“Well, that is a very fancy title to have at your age, Tex Ey.”

“Yes, it is.”

“Now that we’ve introduced ourselves do you think you and your friends could refrain from climbing on the boxes as I work on moving them?”

She thought for a minute, then straightened and said, “Let me confer with my crew first then we’ll talk.”

She determinedly marched over to the rest of the younglings and motioned them into a huddle. Obi-Wan held back a chuckle as the younglings leaned into each other whispering and motioning to each other, debating whether or not they should comply with the Jedi’s demands.

After a few minutes, they disengaged from each other and Tex marched back to the Jedi with her posse following behind her.

“Tex and her crew have talked about your demands and have decided we will comply with your demands only if ya’ give us sweets.”

Obi-Wan stroked his beard pretending to consider their deal, “Well, I don’t know if we have any on the ship. I could ask Hondo where there could be some if that is what you want.”

The group muttered among themselves for a minute then looked back at Obi-Wan and nodded.

“That will do Mister Jedi. Ya’ can go talk ta’ Hondo on our behalf. We’ll watch the babies for ya’,” Tex waved her hand dismissing him from their presence.

He shook his head, chuckling as he walked off to find Hondo and recount the younglings’ demands to him.


End file.
